SLOPS outbreak worldwide

The World Health Organisation today issued a new warning against non-essential travel to the entire Western hemisphere following renewed concerns about the spread of Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome (SLOPS).

Officials are warning travellers not to visit the UK, the US, almost all of Western Europe, and Canada, following further outbreaks of the disease, which has led to mass panic among the media, thousands of ecstatic children being kept out of school by their credulous and moronic parents, and increased profits for DIY stores as the idiot public rush to bulk-buy face masks and boiler suits.

A WHO spokesman said, “You’d be much better off going to somewhere like Thailand or China, because all you’ve got to worry about there is SARS, and let’s face it, you’re about as likely to die from that as you are to get kicked to death by a gang of zombie nuns.”

The SARS virus has now claimed a staggering 500 lives in only six months, which makes it considerably more deadly than, say, malaria, which only kills around 3000 people every single day. Malaria, however, mainly effects only darkies what speak foreign, whereas SARS has made at least one English person feel a bit iffy for a couple of days, and is therefore considered much more serious.

The spread of SLOPS has now reached pandemic proportions, with many high-level politicians seemingly affected by the disease. The rapid spread of SLOPS has been linked to the end of the war in Iraq and the need for Western leaders to give the public something to worry about. Otherwise, they might start asking uncomfortable questions about domestic issues, and that simply would not do.

The Choral Public Domain Library :: If you love something, set it free

Free free, set them free...

A musical weekend

Not just the concert:
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Friday, we had a funeral for Sylvester, our old sacristan, the guy who had been on the job when I first started at St. C's. The new DM couldn't do it. It meant postponing the DC trip 'til 2pm, but it was the least I could do. We pulled the choir together. Songlist was chosen by a former cantor, who brought him the Eucharist after he was too ill to come to church anymore. She led the psalm and the commendation. A family member sang the Ave - very nice. She and I had both wanted the Gounod, but the family insisted on the Schubert.

Prelude: Eye Has Not Seen (Haugen)
............. The King of Love My Shepherd Is (PRESENCE)
............. Ps. 122, The Martyrs' Theme (Lawton)
Procession: Sing With All the Saints in Glory (ODE TO JOY)
Psalm: Ps. 23, Shepherd Me, O God (Haugen)
Gospel Acc: "Come to Me" Alleluia (Joncas)
Presentation: How Great Thou Art (O STORE GUD)
Sanctus / Amen: Mass of Creation (Haugen)
Memorial Acc B: Mass of Light (Haas)
Agnus Dei: Sing Praise and Thanksgiving (Joncas)
Communion: Song of the Body of Christ (NO KE ANO AHI AHI, Haas)
.................. Ave Maria (Schubert)
Commendation: May the Angels (Sands)
Recessional: On Eagle's Wings (Joncas)

Sylvester was 98 when he passed. Our oldest parishioner. Sorry to see him go.
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Kim drove all the way to DC. we finally rolled in about 2am - lots of construction. She likes to drive in silence, especially when she's only got my CDs to choose from. Given her choice, she finally settled on some Allman Bros., and The Band's Greatest Hits. Her comment on St. Duane and the boys: "Wow, these are some really long songs!"
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First concert, at the Shrine, went pretty well. We got lost in NE on the way there when one of the ramps on our route was closed. Drove around lost for a while, finally stopped for directions at a Days Inn - a hooker was checking in at the next window. Her "manager" was waiting outside. There are some things I really don't miss about DC.
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The Shrine itself was lovely, but Kim didn't want to stay for mass, so we drove back to the hotel, and called around to local churches for mass times. Decided to go to Our Lady Queen of Peace in Arlington, because of the 6pm mass time.

VERY interesting mass. Pastor was a Holy Ghost Father, an order I'm unfamiliar with. "Lead Me Guide Me" was in the pews, some compelling gospel-style piano and vocal from a contralto in sweats, and some, but not lotsa, participation from the pews. Deacon's homily blasted their bishop for failing to allow girls as altar servers (even as THEY had a girl serving), the sign of peace ran for 10 minutes as everyone shook everyone's hand, prayers of the faithful included a polling of the assembly, and a number of homegrown acclamations (the Lamb of God was particularly nice). They stopped short of an altar call, and they DID observe their bishop's ban on the cup. But definitely a rebel enclave...
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Dinner at our favorite restaurant in the universe: Mike's American Grill in Springfield, VA. Excellent as always. Saw "About Schmidt" on PPV. Really hit home. Decidedly different role for Jack, but he handled it perfectly. Kathy Bates and Howard Hesseman were excellent too, though maybe we saw a bit too much of Kathy. Knowwhuddimean?
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We had a last minute rehearsal Sunday morning - mostly designed to get our noses out of the scores so we had more communication from our director. VERY productive. Glad we did it.
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Met with friends from our former life in DC ('87-'93) for brunch. Great to see them. Young couple with a 7-month-old daughter. Kim and Jess were supposed to go out for the Christening, Jess got sick at the last minute. Glad Kim got SOMETHING out of the weekend.
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Concert at the Cathedral went VERY VERY well. Every moment of it was better than any moment at any of the other concerts. Still plenty of room for improvement, but we have never sounded so musical. The Cathedral folks taped it for us - hope I get a copy. A couple of internet pals showed up. That was nice, too. Concert was followed by Evensong with the Cathedral's Men's Choir (gorgeous, but we were behind altar and mics were off, so we didn't hear readings or homily), and then by our prof's organ concert on the Cathedral's monster Skinner, ca. 1939. High points were Mendelssohn and Franck, but all was glorious.
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Kim was ticked that we stayed for the concert, but I wouldn't have missed it. Made for an icy first couple of hours going home, though. We picked up some of our regional food favorites: crab chips, birch beer, cranberry nut bread. Yum. Listened to more Band, plus the Dylan/Band Basement Tapes, and a Keith Richards listening list titled "The Devil's Music", a blend of blues, old r&b, reggae, and cajun stuff, from the 30s through the 70s. Sweet.

Somehow, managed to disconnect the radio antenna. My bad. Rolled home about 4am. Spent Monday recovering. All in all, a great weekend!
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It was so much fun, let's do it again...

Off to DC... my college choir, the Madonna U. Chorale, will be performing at the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception (by Catholic U.) Saturday 5/10 at 2:45 pm, and at the Episcopal National Cathedral Sunday 5/11 at 3:15 pm. Admission for each concert is free. Sunday's concert will be followed by an Evening Prayer service, and then an organ concert by Dr. David Wagner, our director.

Here's the choir's songlist:

Kyrie, Missa Aeterna Mundi - Palestrina
Gloria, Missa Aeterna Mundi - Palestrina
Song for Athene - Tavener
Ave Maria - Biebl
Miserere - Allegri
Alleluia - Thompson
Laudate Dominum - Goemanne

The program's about 35 minutes. If you make it, be sure to say hi - I'm the tall guy with the mustache and ponytail.

Dave Letterman's Cubicleville Top 10

10. Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a @#$%?* box all day long.
9. Not being able to check e-mail attachments without turning around to see who's behind you.
8. Cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire.
7. That nagging feeling that if you press the right button, you'll get a piece of cheese.
6. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.
5. The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right.
4. 23 power cords - 1 outlet.
3. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds.
2. The carpet has been there since 1976 and shows more signs of life than your coworkers.

And...the number 1 drawback to working in a cubicle....

1.You can't slam the door and walk out when you quit

Report Card

Deja vu all over again...

Music History - A
Chorale - A
Organ - B+

Spring / Summer is gonna be a homegrown theory review with emphasis on ear training (2 credits) and organ (2 credits). Prof promises we'll get to service playing this time. And no more Wachet Auf. YAYYY!!!!!

In Atlanta? Don't miss Saturday's Rich Mullins Tribute concert. Bill's archives appear broken, so scroll down to the 4/22 entry...

Tell Bill, Ken, & Elyn I said hi. Wish I could go...

Choir concerts this weekend

my college choir, the Madonna U. Chorale, is performing at First United Methodist Church in Royal Oak MI Friday at 6:30 pm (7th and Washington), and at St. John's Lutheran Church in Fraser MI on Sunday (sorry - don't remember the time - 3pm maybe? Church phone is 586-293-0333 if you're interested) on 14 mile Rd. West of Utica Rd. Admission for each concert is $5.

Here's the songlist:

Requiem - Rutter
Kyrie, Missa Aeterna Mundi - Palestrina
Gloria, Missa Aeterna Mundi - Palestrina
Song for Athene - Tavener
Ave Maria - Biebl
Miserere - Allegri
Alleluia - Thompson
Laudate Dominum - Goemane

We'll repeat this program in DC in a couple of weeks, less the Requiem (we'll be up the Potomac without the Rutter... ba-dum-pum). I'll post details when I have them.

If you make it, be sure to say hi - I'm the tall guy with the mustache and ponytail. If you can't make it, prayers for our success will be gratefully accepted. With regards to the Allegri and the Rutter, I'm thinking maybe bypass St. Cecilia and go straight for St. Jude...

Off line 'til Monday

I've been doing this progressive fast thing for Lent - each week, give up something additional:

Week 1: desserts
Week 2: seconds
Week 3: alcohol (this was AFTER St. Patty's )
Week 4: snacks
Week 5: meat
Week 6: coffee
Week 7: the web

Week 7 is now upon us. I'll be back after Easter...

Dwight (and/or his speechwriter) Chime(s) In

Every gun that is made, every warship launched,
every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and not clothed.

- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The War Prayer

It was a time of great and exalting excitement.
The country was up in arms,
the war was on,
in every breast burned the holy fire of
patriotism;
the drums were beating,
the bands playing,
the toy pistols popping,
the bunched firecrackers hissing and
spluttering;
on every hand and far down the receding and
fading spread of roofs and balconies a
fluttering
wilderness of flags flashed in the sun;
daily the young volunteers
marched down the wide avenue
gay and fine in their new uniforms,
the proud fathers and mothers and sisters and
sweethearts cheering them with voices choked
with happy emotion as they swung by;
nightly the packed mass meetings listened,
panting,
to patriot oratory which stirred
the deepest deeps of their hearts,
and which they interrupted at briefest intervals
with cyclones of applause,
the tears running down their cheeks the while;
in the churches the pastors preached devotion
to flag and country,
and invoked the God of Battles beseeching
His aid in our good cause in outpourings
of fervid eloquence which moved every listener.

It was indeed a glad and gracious time,
and the half dozen rash spirits that ventured
to disapprove of the war and cast a doubt
upon its righteousness straightway got such a
stern
and angry warning that for their personal
safety's sake
they quickly shrank out of sight
and offended no more in that way.

Sunday morning came
-- next day the battalions would leave for the
front;
the church was filled;
the volunteers were there,
their young faces alight with martial dreams
-- visions of the stern advance,
the gathering momentum,
the rushing charge,
the flashing sabers,
the flight of the foe,
the tumult,
the enveloping smoke,
the fierce pursuit,
the surrender!

Then home from the war,
bronzed heroes,
welcomed,
adored,
submerged in golden seas of glory!
With the volunteers sat their dear ones,
proud, happy, and envied
by the neighbors and friends who had
no sons and brothers to send forth
to the field of honor,
there to win for the flag, or, failing,
die the noblest of noble deaths.

The service proceeded;
a war chapter from the Old Testament was read;
the first prayer was said;
it was followed by an organ burst
that shook the building,
and with one impulse the house rose,
with glowing eyes and beating hearts,
and poured out that tremendous invocation

God the all-terrible!
Thou who ordainest!
Thunder thy clarion and lightning thy sword!

Then came the "long" prayer.
None could remember the like of it
for passionate pleading and
moving and beautiful language.
The burden of its supplication was,
that an ever-merciful and benignant
Father of us all would watch over our
noble young soldiers, and aid, comfort,
and encourage them in their patriotic work;
bless them,
shield them in the day of battle
and the hour of peril,
bear them in His mighty hand,
make them strong and confident,
invincible in the bloody onset;
help them to crush the foe,
grant to them and to their flag and country
imperishable honor and glory --

An aged stranger entered
and moved with slow and noiseless step
up the main aisle,
his eyes fixed upon the minister,
his long body clothed
in a robe that reached to his feet,
his head bare,
his white hair descending
in a frothy cataract to his shoulders,
his seamy face unnaturally pale,
pale even to ghastliness.
With all eyes following him and wondering,
he made his silent way;
without pausing,
he ascended to the preacher's side
and stood there waiting.
With shut lids the preacher,
unconscious of his presence,
continued with his moving prayer,
and at last finished it with the words,
uttered in fervent appeal,

"Bless our arms,
grant us the victory,
O Lord our God,
Father and Protector of our land and flag!"

The stranger touched his arm,
motioned him to step aside
-- which the startled minister did
-- and took his place.
During some moments he surveyed
the spellbound audience with solemn eyes,
in which burned an uncanny light;
then in a deep voice he said:

"I come from the Throne
-- bearing a message from Almighty God!"
The words smote the house with a shock;
if the stranger perceived it he gave no
attention.
"He has heard the prayer of
His servant your shepherd,
and will grant it if such shall be your desire
after I, His messenger,
shall have explained to you its import
-- that is to say, its full import.
For it is like unto many of
the prayers of men,
in that it asks for more than
he who utters it is aware of
-- except he pause and think.

"God's servant and yours
has prayed his prayer.
Has he paused and taken thought?
Is it one prayer?
No, it is two
-- one uttered,
the other not.

Both have reached the ear of
Him Who heareth all supplications,
the spoken and the unspoken.

Ponder this
-- keep it in mind.
If you would beseech
a blessing upon yourself, beware!
lest without intent you invoke a curse
upon a neighbor at the same time.
If you pray for the blessing of rain
upon your crop which needs it,
by that act you are possibly praying
for a curse upon some neighbor's crop
which may not need rain and can be injured by
it.

"You have heard your servant's prayer
-- the uttered part of it.
I am commissioned of God
to put into words
the other part of it
-- that part which the pastor
-- and also you in your hearts
-- fervently prayed silently.

And ignorantly and unthinkingly?

God grant that it was so!
You heard these words:
'Grant us the victory,
O Lord our God!'
That is sufficient.
The whole of the uttered prayer
is compact into those pregnant words.
Elaborations were not necessary.
When you have prayed for victory
you have prayed for many unmentioned results
which follow victory
-- must follow it,
cannot help but follow it.
Upon the listening spirit of God
fell also the unspoken part of the prayer.
He commandeth me to put it into words.

Listen!

"O Lord our Father,
our young patriots,
idols of our hearts,
go forth to battle
-- be Thou near them!
With them
-- in spirit
-- we also go forth from the sweet peace
of our beloved firesides to smite the foe.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers
to bloody shreds with our shells;
help us to cover their smiling fields
with the pale forms of their patriot dead;
help us to drown the thunder of the guns
with the shrieks of their wounded,
writhing in pain; help us to lay waste
their humble homes with a hurricane of fire;
help us to wring the hearts of their
unoffending widows with unavailing grief;
help us to turn them out roofless
with little children to wander unfriended
the wastes of their desolated land
in rags and hunger and thirst,
sports of the sun flames of summer
and the icy winds of winter,
broken in spirit,
worn with travail,
imploring Thee for the refuge
of the grave and denied it
-- for our sakes who adore Thee,

Lord, blast their hopes,
blight their lives,
protract their bitter pilgrimage,
make heavy their steps,
water their way with their tears,
stain the white snow with
the blood of their wounded feet!
We ask it, in the spirit of love,
of Him Who is the Source of Love,
and Who is the ever-faithful refuge
and friend of all that are sore beset
and seek His aid with
humble and contrite hearts.

Amen.

(After a pause.)

"Ye have prayed it;
if ye still desire it, speak!
The messenger of the Most High waits!"

Mark Twain, 1905

I Knew it Wouldn't Take Long

Now not only missing, but missed. Officially.

Quote of the Day

There is nothing so annoyingly permanent as something you intend to be temporary. - Karl P. Henning, quoting his late father-in-law

In related news, I've been "spared" the ax again. I'm passing the 68 month mark on my 12-24 month project. Sigh.

Overheard after church:

Mice have died, mice in prison, mice will come again.

Out of the mouths of babes...

Best-Laid Plans

...as General Paul Van Riper complained, the game was "almost entirely scripted to ensure a U.S. win." In early runs of the game, Riper was asked to play the enemy and attempt to elude the U.S. planners. When he succeeded in doing so, the game was changed to diminish the role of human volition on his side. Once the game became purely static, the planners won handily.

Lew Rockwell, a libertarian of note, shares his thoughts with us on why things aren't proceeding as we had expected. His paragraph titles are telling:

Overutilization of resources.
Not accounting for error.
Underestimating the will to resist.
The refusal to admit error.
Assuming that the world is ours for the making.
Persisting in ignorance.

A good read.

Here Comes Peter Cottontail

I'll be part of a paid choir for Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Kind of a funny concept, given how many bands have paid me NOT to sing over the years...

Anyhow, my organ prof's church - I don't have all the details yet - he'll have us sightreading what's not listed here. But check out what we covered at rehearsal last night:

Kyrie: Missa Aeterna Mundi (Palestrina)
Gloria: Missa Aeterna Mundi (Palestrina)
Sequence: Victimae Paschalae Laudes (Latin plainchant)
Credo: Taize
Prep: Laudate Dominum (Goemane)
Communion: Ave Maria (Biebl)
Communion II: Alleluia (Thomson)

I mentioned after rehearsal that I was surprised we were singing a Kyrie (not sure of the rubrics on this, but thought we were to skip both Confiteor and Kyrie on Easter). At first he said he thought we were supposed to do it, then decided it didn't matter what we were supposed to do - he'd heard plenty of abuses in the name of modernity, and the Kyrie was too beautiful to leave out. Something like that.

The assembly will be included on the entrance and recessional hymns, psalm (probably Gelineau), and mass parts (probably Proulx's Community Mass) - the Taize Credo has an assembly part too, but it's Latin, not sure they'll pick it up. We're singing some kind of alleluia for sprinkling, too - Hughes, maybe? Also not sure about the gospel acc. - he usually just does the plainchant.

These are gorgeous pieces (the Goemane is maybe more about cleverness than beauty), and I think his assembly is pretty well acclimated to his non-particpatory approach to communion - he usually plays an organ solo.

I still feel funny about this, but my choices are either to show up or not, and I've committed already. Should be interesting.

Happy birthday, Johann

I, like, totally forgive you for writing all these orgelpieces that kick my *ss...

Here's Someone Else ...

...who says it better than I do:

PETER FREUNDLICH:

All right, let me see if I understand the logic of this correctly. We are going to ignore the United Nations in order to make clear to Saddam Hussein that the United Nations cannot be ignored. We're going to wage war to preserve the UN's ability to avert war. The paramount principle is that the UN's word must be taken seriously, and if we have to subvert its word to guarantee that it is, then by gum, we will. Peace is too important not to take up arms to defend. Am I getting this right?

Further, if the only way to bring democracy to Iraq is to vitiate the democracy of the Security Council, then we are honor-bound to do that too, because democracy, as we define it, is too important to be stopped by a little thing like democracy as they define it. Also, in dealing with a man who brooks no dissension at home, we cannot afford dissension among ourselves. We must speak with one voice against Saddam Hussein's failure to allow opposing voices to be heard. We are sending our gathered might to the Persian Gulf to make the point that might does not make right, as Saddam Hussein seems to think it does. And we are twisting the arms of the opposition until it agrees to let us oust a regime that twists the arms of the opposition. We cannot leave in power a dictator who ignores his own people. And if our people, and people elsewhere in the world, fail to understand that, then we have no choice but to ignore them.

Listen. Don't misunderstand. I think it is a good thing that the members of the Bush administration seem to have been reading Lewis Carroll. I only wish someone had pointed out that "Alice in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass" are meditations on paradox and puzzle and illogic and on the strangeness of things, not templates for foreign policy. It is amusing for the Mad Hatter to say something like, `We must make war on him because he is a threat to peace,' but not amusing for someone who actually commands an army to say that.

As a collector of laughable arguments, I'd be enjoying all this were it not for the fact that I know--we all know--that lives are going to be lost in what amounts to a freak, circular reasoning accident.

Peter Freundlich is a freelance journalist in New York.

Copyright ©2003 National Public Radio®. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to National Public Radio.

Off to War

I've started this post a couple of dozen times, and stopped because I was too angry. Maybe I'll get through it this time.

Nah. I didn't.

Read Amy instead. A few weeks old, but most of the salient points are there.

I'd been seriously hoping that the US and UN were doing a good cop / bad cop job on Saddam. I guess I was wrong.

Lord, have mercy on your warlike children...

A Lenten Offering

Here's a piece I wrote a couple of years ago, titled "King O'er the Hills". It has DERRY for its melody. We used it, a capella, for veneration of the cross on Good Friday for the past two years.

This version is hardly liturgical, but you may find it interesting...

I shared it in a few online communities over the past week : A bit of a controversy at Home Recording about whether it was any good or not, my classical composers group post got one pretty nice response, and my NPM group stifled a large collective yawn.

Anyhow, not for the timid - I dubbed it a "cinematic" setting. Let me know what you think. The Home Rec guys have given me some good ideas about reworking it - I'll definitely bring the vocals up.

"Happy" Lent, every one.