Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Joe Zawinul
Has died. Today, I think.
He always boggled me. Nobody else could craft melodies like that,
especially in the context of the rhythm beds he also helped create.
Other-worldly is the wrong word - they were very much of this world, but
--- older or something. Aboriginal. Like he heard them emanating from
the hulls of nurse trees, or floating in a cavern's dankness. He took
the beeps and blips of early portable synthesizers, like Arp 2600's and
Prohet-5's, and made them into organic extensions of himself. There
has never been a sonic feast quite like a Weather Report recording, and
none of them were ever quite the same either.
I was just thinking about him this morning - listening to movie scores
on XM, thinking JZ could do this, he'd be awesome - and there's still
time. And now, of course, I find there isn't.
Band practice tonight, maybe I can talk them into a quick run through
Mercy Mercy Mercy or Birdland before we get down to business.
I'm near tears. Damn.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Meet my new piano
Okay, it's just a module. But way cool, nonetheless.
I actually bought my RP-X a couple months ago, but didn't put it through its paces until last night, auditioning for a blues band. It wasn't the best of circumstances - was sitting at a bad angle for playing, and an even worse angle for listening. But still, the RP-X really shone.
It appears I have the job, so will probably try to get a lightweight controller to replace the QS8, and a B3 clone. My CME UF-5 works nicely with B3 clones, so a box would be okay. BEST would be Creamware's as-yet-unissued card for the UF controllers, which is supposed to turn them into a killer little B3 manual for an absurdly cheap price. I can only wait so long, though. I suppose I could use my laptop and NI's B4 soft synth while I was waiting...
The lightweight controller to replace the QS8 will probably be Yamaha's new NP-30. Killer price point - $300ish street - only 12 lbs, light but sturdy action, and decent built in sounds. I doubt I'll like the Yam sounds as much as the RP-X, but if they're good, that could make my life even easier.
Stay tuned.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Still alive
Not much to say, lately.
Joined a 60's soul band, but it broke up right away. Great potential shot down once again by personality clashes.
Had another Voxfest gathering, reasonably successful. I suppose I should post pics. Again, almost nothing got recorded.
My kid finally cleaned his truckload of crap (bought out an old auto parts warehouse) out of the basement this weekend, so I'm going to move the studio down there: not enough room in the bedroom, plus we really need a guest room. Watch for pics of the new space once it's ready.
I probably haven't mentioned the Alesis Fusion 6HD that I bought a while back, or the Cascade Fat Head II ribbon mic. Consider them mentioned. Love the Fusion, and the Fat Head is a great mic for the right voice. I'm not the right voice. But you knew that...
-j-
Monday, October 09, 2006
Through the Past, Snarkily
GOOD TIMES:
Fender Rhodes Stage 88, 73 - both were frustrating, but both were magical when everything clicked. The Rhodes is the reason I got serious about playing. Still love my 73 (replaced the 88 in '79), but am fully cognizant of its flaws.
Krakauer upright - man, I wish I still had this. Very warm, round tone. Action was a bit sluggish, but I grew up on it, so I was used to it. Gave it away on one of our moves. It was actually my great-grandparents': circa 1890 or so. I have to stop talking about it, I'm bumming myself out.
Boston Grand, K Kawai Grand - love these! The Boston especially, beautiful sound. The Kawai and I have come to terms - it's my main board on my current church gig. A bit bright, but I keep the cover closed and play harder. Keep the humidifier filled, she keeps her tune. For a while. Wouldn't trade her for anything now, not even the Boston. The Boston was like the hot girlfriend that got away - The Kawai is like the wife. LOL.
Casavant pipe organs - I've played two regularly, they're both completely different, one neobaroque, one French romantic - but they are great! Sweet, sweet sounds. Need to spend more time with the one I still have access to (the French romantic). It's too good an instrument to just be sitting there.
Allen Digital Pipe Organ - this was a rental at my college, replaced with the Wilhelm tracker, listed (far) below, in 2004. Very sweet sounds, okay touch, fully AGO compliant, and lots of fun to play the alternate tunings and reverb settings. IIUC, it would have cost less that $20K to buy. It would have been a better investment than the Wilhelm, which cost 4-5x as much. Though there is something to be said for real pipes, and I think that was a big part of the decision. Point of pride for the department, yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. This Allen sounded better.
Hammond L100, A100, M3, D152 - Love all of these, but what a difference a Leslie makes! Only the L and A had Leslies - the A had 3 (!!!). And only the D is in my possession anymore. But one of these days, the D will have a Leslie. Maybe soon.
Clavinet D6 - loved the short throw, the rythmic sound. Big fun to play guitar parts on it, too. Only keyboard I ever had feed back, LOL. well, until I test drove the VP-550 the other day and had the mic too hot. The D6 was a fragile little thing, though.
Arp Solina SE-4 - magical string tones. Magical. Busted now, but I can't quit her...
Arp Axxe, Odyssey - Odyssey is a dream board, but I only picked it up a couple of years ago - on this board in fact. Love the sounds. The Axxe was what I used back in the day, that was great IF you had a phaser and an echo. I did. Mrs. Daf made me sell it for $65, 15+ years ago. I've never let her forget that.
Sequential Circuits Prophet 5 - ultra cool, but I paid way too much. If I had waited a year, I could have gotten a used one for $700 instead of the $3300 I paid new in '82. Hindsight. Still have it, though, in great condition. Still my go-to synth.
Yamaha KX-88 - the ultimate controller by which all others will forever be judged. Sadly in disrepair now, and repairs would cost more than buying a decent used one.
Yamaha TX-7 - I had a pair. Still do, somewhere. I loved these. Even had a cool EP sound that didn't sound at all like a DX EP. So many innovations - FM, breath control, midi. Well, it was my first midi setup anyhow (with the KX).
Ensoniq KT-88 - Church rig, I was the backup keyboardist. Killer sounds for an ensemble setting. I understand it hasn't gotten much use since I left the parish 9 years ago, so it's still alive & kicking. Last I heard. Wonder if my sequence is still in it? Best one I ever did...
Yamaha TQ-5, DX-11 - I know. Nobody else liked the TQ. But I loved the onboard fx, the multimbral sequencer, the ez-edit functions, THE ONBOARD CLOCK! Nobody else had a clock on their module ever! W00t! I still have a B3 patch on this that I love. And some cool pads as well. The Dx-11 is a recent acquisition, with the same sound engine. I bought it as a controller, and now am having some trouble with it. It will rise again, though.
Alesis QS-8, QS-8.1, QSR - best feeling board ever. EVER! Sounds are hit or miss, but when they're good, they're very very good (yes, you can finish the rhyme). The 8.0 got me through 5 years as music director at my little country parish I started at. The 8.1 is still holding forth at the center of my live rig. QSR is backup - I lost the amp section on the 8.1 3 times. Should be fixed now, though.
Novation K-Station - Does everything! Big fun! Wish it were sturdier. Wish it had more notes. Wish it had patch names. Still a great board.
Yamaha VL-70m - OMG, what amazing sounds! I love this thing, wish I had more time for it.
Kurzweil ME-1 - gorgeous sounds, limited interface, completely uneditable, organ sounds don't respond to mod wheel. But gorgeous sounds trump all. Price point is amazing.
Roland VK-8 - great organ sounds, and I love the implementation for a second board and pedals. Other sounds suck, but who cares?
CME UF-5 - love this controller! Drawbar mode is a really cool idea. Wish it had memory. Wish I could edit drawbar mode (VK-8 won't respond). Still, great feel, tons of controls - even a BC input! Yay!
Alesis Fusion 6HD - hoping and praying this one works out. I like it well enough to buy it. Any day now. Another excellent price point.
Roland VP-550 - Church will be buying one shortly if I can't work out the Vari-OS / VC-2 combination (see below). Test drove the VP a couple of days ago - exactly what I need for banging out choir parts and distributing via CD.
MIXED FEELINGS:
Conn home organ - had a leslie of sorts, had some fun stuff, but real limited in the sounds it could get. The flutes were pretty good, the rest was awful. Had some stupid rhythm stuff on it too. Mom gave it to a church when she sold the house.
Miller console piano - well it's family, was my Grandma's. Doesn't sound great, but useful for banging out parts, and a nice piece of furniture in my living room. The Krakauer would overwhelm the LR, so I guess it's a good thing.
Roland P-55 - not bad piano sounds, but not great. Tried to sell it in my Katrina sale last year, then realized I didn't know where it was anymore. Better APs and EPs than my TX's, so useful when I got it, but just barely.
Roland S-50 - my first church board - it was pretty dated when I got to it. Apparently my predecessors had some fun sampling sounds, but I only got to use it for playback, and 12-bit (or whatever it was) don't cut it. It got stolen after I was there about a year, and we replaced it with the KT-88 described above. I was dragging my own (equally dated) stuff in until then, that's how much I disliked playing the S-50. But it DID do sampling, and had a dedicated cpu screen. So some cool potential there, I just never got to do much with it.
Korg Wavestation, Yamaha TG33 - jury's still out on these two, but it doesn't look good - bought them a year or two ago. Haven't found much I liked yet.
Roland Vari-OS - just bought this, now can't find a VC-2 card, which was the only thing I bought it for. Hope I find something to like.
Classic Organ Works midi pedalboard - works well enough, but I can only use this with an AGO bench, and the pedalboard is heavy as hell. I was trying to set up something portable for the church, and it seems I've failed. Still, cool to have this - it's mine, not the church's. Not sure where I'll put it if I ever leave, though. It's HUGE!
BAD TIMES:
Heathkit Vox Jaguar combo organ - ecch. All I could afford then, but ecch! What awful sounds!
Allen analog church organ, Lowrey Genie, Baldwin 500, Allen digital/pipe combo church organ - these were all awful. The digital / pipe idea is the worst! Pipes shift in pitch with the weather, digitals don't. Might have sounded better if it had an overhaul - I remember the other guy (YEARS ago) getting good sounds. But when I finally had a chance to use it, it had sat unmaintained for 5-6 years. The Allen analog was just bad - no good sounds, wobbly pitch, those awful little princess pedals, underpowered for the room (sanctuary only sat 200, but still underpowered!). And the Genie - our current practice room organ - may be the worst organ ever manufactured. With the Baldwin (at Mom's retirement village - I'd practice on it when I visited) a close second.
Yamaha P-50 - dedicated piano module on which EVERY SINGLE PIANO SOUND SUCKED. What I get for buying without trying. Icky-poo.
Roland XP-10 - some okay sounds, some not. Awful interface, totally non-editable. X-Y thing was dumb. Hated that it forgot everything when you powered down - 16 channels multitimbral: that's a lot of work to set back up every time. And having to reboot to go from GM to normal? Who makes up this stuff? Oh yeah, hate the Roland paddle too. Wheels good, paddle bad.
Kurzweil SP-88 - I liked the touch on this, hated the sounds. So it would be logical to use it as a controller, but I just could not get next to the ribbons in place of the mod and pitch wheels. Gone now. Don't miss it.
Roland U-220, Proteus 1, Kawai K-10 - Yeep. Who knows, maybe these were okay back in the day, but OMG. Bought them used and cheap (except the K, which was a church board), but nothing at all to like about these.
Wilhelm tracker pipe organ - a custom install (as are all Wilhelms) at my college, it has weird little wooden keys, flat pedalboard instead of radial, 30 pedals instead of 32, and is impossibly shrill at close range. And the player is always a close range because the pipes are right there. I really wanted to like this organ, but it's just stupid for an American university with an organ program to have its only organ fail to meet ANY of the AGO specs.
Roland A-30 - nice feel, horrible implementation. And I hate paddles.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
PowerKor travel guide
Europe - overrun by muslims
Middle East - ditto
Africa - ditto
East Asia - ditto
South America - overrun by leftists
North America - overrun by rightists
Asia - figuring out capitalism
Russia - cant figure out capitalism
Austrailia - in mourning
Iceland - melting steadily
Here's a link to:
PowerKor the Acidplaneteer
Tell him Daffy sent you. He probably won't care, but tell him anyhow.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Jamfest VI
I promised them a recording with the guitar - watch this space!
Monday, June 19, 2006
Haha - check out my AcidPlanet stats!
Monday, May 08, 2006
Like Hard Rock?
No, not the Cafe, LOL.
Check out RP Hard at recordingproject.com. Your host Ramen will give you some hard edged original music to listen at, plus some insight and Ramenisms.
It's a one hour show. Weekly schedule for starters:
Monday 5/8 - 9PM (all times are Mountain Time, adjust accordingly)
Tuesday 5/9 - 7AM, 1PM, 9PM
Thursday 5/11 - 7AM, 1PM, 9PM
Friday 5/12 - 8PM
Saturday 5/13 - 8PM
Listen Up!!!! BTW, chances are none of MY music will show up on this show. But RP is trying to add shows. As soon as there's a rocks-about-as-hard-as-Air-Supply-but-really-can't-sing show, I'll be all over that!
Friday, April 14, 2006
It's finally a REAL sequencer! Yay!
I've been using it that way for a couple of years anyhow - love the workflow and interface - but there were just some things it wouldn't do. NOT ANY MORE!
o Multitrack Audio and MIDI Recording
o Multiple Media Files per Track
o Inline MIDI Editing
o MIDI Filtering and Processing
o VSTi Parameter Automation
o Drum Map Editing
o Project Sections
o External Control Surface Support
o Record Input Monitoring
Guitar Center called today to say they're putting my upgrade in the mail. Can't wait.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Top of the Charts
Mean time, my "Goin' Down to RP" is holding on at #3. It's a song about folks at recordingproject.com , featuring guitar solos from 11 different guitarists. Big fun, mang, big big fun. Go give a listen.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Not Dead Yet
Boy, my head sure hurts, though. Another couple of weeks for that, they say. I returned to work and to my parish music job last week.
In the words of Fr. Doc, "Please continue to pray for Jay. We have have Lent and Easter coming up, and he better not pull the same trick again." Ha ha.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Climbing
Although Beez's metal track is 30 DL's ahead, his place expires in a week or so - songs last on the chart for a month(ish) now. So barring another metal hit (they always get more listens), we could go with zero downloads and still have a chance at #1. But please listen anyhow - link is below.
Reviewers so far say that the mix is a bit muddy and muffled, and the lead vocs are too far out front. Also background vocals need fleshing out. So a fix will be coming. Big diff between this and my other stuff - the reviewers actually LIKE my vocals. Another sign of the Apocalypse???
Monday, December 12, 2005
Katrina
Here's my other response, just reaching completion now:
Hey Katrina!
A New Orleans-style song, with little pieces of bayou culture as well, and musical influences from Little Feat, Dr. John, and Preservation Hall. The song paints Katrina as a crazy woman who blew threw town and left misery in her wake, sort of a "Wow, Katrina, are you ever EVIL!!!" approach. Not for everyone, but some nice props from the reviewers at RP. Just click on the "download" or "listen" link on the page - I'm not allowed to direct link, sorry.
Thanks to my pals HevyD, Steev, Buddah, and Hotz for lending their talents. Mix isn't quite final yet, but the elements are all there. Number 4 with a bullet on the latest RP chart, LOL.
Tell em Daf sent you. Not that they'll ask...
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
RIP, St. Bob
And HERE is a link to a pretty good obit. A truly great man has left our midst.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Back from Jamfest
Here's a pic...
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Buy our stuff!
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
I know SO many people...
Only $9.99 plus $5 S/H on ebay (click the pic).
Rick S. - Soundman - San Diego, CA: “...so then the lead singers girlfriend/manager comes up and tells me her boyfriends voice sounds out of tune. “What’s up with that?” I told her, ”Sorry, the TALENT BOOST wasn’t turned on”. She looked at me with a blank stare and walked away. I didn’t have to deal with her the rest of the night. Thank you TALENT BOOST”.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Check out Jen
I'm trying not to hate her (and Aussies in general) for having nice weather - hers will probably be lousy when ours is good. Anyhow, give her a listen, and also follow her links to my Canadian pal Dave, a fellow keyboardist and a primo songwriter.
Friday, November 12, 2004
Still here
New band is sounding good - I'm planning to put up an original Miles-style jam for you soon. We didn't keep that trumpeter, but have a sax guy now who's really level headed, and is good both inside and outside - hope he stays. Best saxophonist I've ever worked with.
Lotsa gear acquisitions lately, though tending to the cheap side:
Alesis QSR module,
Roland A-30 controller,
Yama BC-3 breath controller,
Yamaha DX-11 synth, and
Yamaha VL-70m physical modeling module.
Nothing over $500. L_O_V_E the VL-70m, though...
Monday, October 11, 2004
Jamfest '04
Of all the keyboard classics I've ever played, this is definitely one of em, LOL. That's me on QS-8, VTGreen81 on stix, and FMMahoganyrush (our host) on guitar and vox. I believe we had a bass player along for the ride on this - sure sounds that way - but I'm drawing a blank on who it was.
I was really pleased with the QS-8 sound on this. Think I was using the 3BarsFull patch on the Vintage Keys card. Yay for Dave Bryce and the other sound designers from Alesis. These guys are scattered to the 4 corners of the world by now, I'm sure - for example, Dave's working for Dave Smith (of Sequential Circuits fame) Instruments now.
I was telling the guys at RP that this was one of the first rock/pop songs I ever learned, 30+ years ago now. I've never gotten tired of it.
Friday, October 08, 2004
Grrr...
The one in Anchorman, where Christina Applegate (mmm... Christina...) thinks she's being helped by the PBS news guy, and he pushes her into the bear cage?
http://www.folkslikeus.org
Welcome to the modern world of public radio. I have always loved WDET for its eclecticism - and weekend shows like Folks Like Us, Blues From the Lowlands, and Arkansas Traveler were a truly refreshing part of the mix: a nice change from the hipper-than-thou trendy "eclecticism" of the weekday shows.
Well, no more. I have to admit, I love John Penny's show, and I think rebroadcasting all the great live-in-the-studio music that's happened at WDET is a great idea. but not at the expense of the ONLY folk music show on the Detroit airwaves, and the ONLY bluegrass show.
For all the edgy music they play, there's a sort of bland sameness to what's on at DET anymore. Thank the Lord they got rid of Jim Bauer's ridiculous AOR-for-Moderns format. But what's left isn't much better - lots of techno, nu-garage, lounge, and jazz. Rumor is they'll be changing their nickname from "Detroit's Public Radio" to "The River".
Okay, I made that part up. There are still breaths of fresh air - Chris Felcyn's Listening Room, Michael Julien's carribean/afro/pop show, and Kim Heron pushes the jazz envelope some (the rest of it, sorry Ed and Gene, just sounds like WCHD - the 60's version of smooth jazz - all over again. And Ed is fast turning into Bill Kennedy. Grumble). The news programming is still superb, of course.
But I hope they're not counting on my check too much. It may be a year or three before I'm willing to cough up more dough for a station that ignores its listeners like that....
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
chart update update update
A strong showing - another 7 or 8 listens - but "Up for the Count" ran out of time, and is off the charts. Thanks for the listens and the nice comments.
It's still there (link is below) if you missed it, just no more chart action.
Friday, September 24, 2004
chart update update
Wow, you all really responded! 14 hits on my tune in the past few hours moved me up to #2. Very cool. Thank you.
"Up for the Count" will drop from the chart on Sunday, when its two weeks are up. Unlikely we'll catch Wireneck - he's 33 d/l's up (and multiples for the same don't count - no ballot bax stuffing allowed!), and, AFAIK, his tune will be up for a few days beyond mine. But it was a good run, and I got some nice notes from a few of ya.
Thanks! *sniff* You guys are the greatest!!!
chart update
Yay! "Up for the Count" is up to #3.
OTOH, "Held By Stone" is off the chart.
The way this works now, a tune has a chart life of two weeks. Once your tune is 15 days old, it's gone, now matter how many listens it's getting. So "Count" moved from 3rd to 5th with few, if any, additional downloads. Keeps the chart fresh, if nothing else.
Number one is not a lock. Lots depends on review traffic at RP. "Count" didn't get a lot, and is getting none now, so I'm looking for a fall soon. 'Saright, it's all for fun anyhow.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Climbin the Ladder
#3 - Held By Stone, by FrederickRM
I'm guest keyboardist on this. Kinda shows the danger of midi collabs: he used patches I wouldn't have used, and DIDN'T use when I was recording these. Really highlighted some loose timing that was okay in my mix. His changes didn't affect the timing of course - they just brought ther keys farther forward and into a new "timekeeper" role which my performance wasn't up to. I was hesitant about sending midi, but decided it ain't my tune, let's see how it goes. He's supposed to edit the timing on the left hand organ part.
BTW, very well written and sung by Frederick. Tasty guitar playing too, though a bit heavy on the Echoplex.
#5 - Up for the Count, by Dafduc
Yeah, that's me. A short instrumental composition, specifically for the upcoming Keyboard Corner compilation CD. Everyone was supposed to contribute a tune that was under 2 minutes, but there wasn't enough interest to fill a CD, so it's now an "anything goes" compilation. My 1:59 track was in the can already, though.
It's a tribute to Ray Charles, and to Count Basie, who would have turned 100 this year. The concept was "what if Brother Ray took the Count's signature line and turned it into a piece of his own?" If you're familiar with Ray's instrumental works, this should sound familiar too. If not, chase down some tunes! Ray's vocal stuff was groundbreaking, but the other side of Ray is worth exploring: Wanna know where James Brown got his ideas? Sure ya do.
That's me on mdaPiano, everything else is loop wrangling. Assembling the horn parts was hours of work - so give it a listen, 'kay?
Thanks to the RP bunch for their help with the EQ issues. Between my bad ear and my half-broken monitors, there was no way I could have gotten a good mix without their input.
Monday, August 16, 2004
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
UPS Woes
Gear Acquisition Syndrome, that is? I need a damn support group.
My latest venture involves a vintage Arp Odyssey and a UPS crew that apparently used it for dwarf tossing after the dwarf called it quits. $500 for the unit, a good price, but it arrived with a HUGE dent in it, and the keyboard disconnected from the sound generation circuits.
Guy who sold it to me has been very cool about this so far, and will make good if UPS doesn't. But UPS has been receptive too, perhaps because the guy shipped from his company. And perhaps because we were talking repairs rather than replacement.
Got the repair estimate today, $310. Cracked circuit board, and some major disconnecting/reconnecting required as part of making the dent go away. So now we see how UPS follows through. Wish me luck...
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
A month later
I bought Garritan Personal Orchestra a few months ago. It was a dicey buy, because none of the local music stores had a copy for me to demo, and it was recommended for WinXP/2000 only - I'm on WinME. Also wants a faster PC - 1Ghz to my 833mhz.
Got it anyhow - but it wouldn't install right. 2 months later, with continual back-and-forth between me and the Native Instruments (they're the US distributors) rep, I finally got a Garritan rep who knew what was up - it's a dynamic install that gets lost midstream under WME. He gave me the workaround, I got it going...
...but it's really demanding on my system. I can run it in standalone mode, but can't use it inside Acid or Cubase without crashing - can't even use it as an Encore output without forcing a reboot.
Still, great sounds. Piano is excellent, so is the pipe organ. One of the violin patches has an articulation control on some of the out-of-range keys - big fun to improvise orchestrally.
There's a choice between wet and dry instruments: referring, of course, to the amount of reverb. There's a separate reverb control, but if I understand correctly, the wet instruments were recorded in a reverberent space. So is the reverb control a separate piece of processing, or just a mix between wet and dry versions? I suspect the former, but am not sure.
There are "multi" sounds, too - combinations of sounds - but I haven't had a chance to evaluate them yet.
I'm trying to figure out a way to add GPO in to one of my sequencing environments so I can swap the piano sound in on some of my completed pieces. The freebie mdaPiano VST Instrument that I use is okay, but GPO's piano is so much better! It would prevent me from playing back in real time, and greatly increase rendering time, but that's fine for finished works. At this point, though, the sequencers blow up when I first load GPO up with the piano. Sigh...
Might be new puter time!
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Monday, May 31, 2004
Sisters
Check her out! great, concise reviews from an always-entertaining blog pal. Her roni ratings are a nice visual touch.
We saw Shrek 2 last night, and I pretty much agree with Rachel (though I found the music mostly annoying, and thought Bette Midler would have made a much better fairy godmother than whoever that was).
Friday, May 28, 2004
Rayos del BS
Highly recommended - Brer Rats played the prerelease copy for me on our trip to Hamilton a few weeks ago. High energy post-punk mayhem, with hooky hooks and quizzy tones.
Local boys need some props. Give it up, Detroit!!!
Friday, April 23, 2004
uh-oh
...sent me the wrong card - see ebay post below. They sent the Classical Instruments card, which I already have. Took forever to explain it to them, cos it was their inventory tag that was wrong.
Grr. Gotta do the UPS return thing. There ain't a UPS within 30 miles if here. Grr.
Monday, April 19, 2004
Sunday, April 18, 2004
eBay
Yee - HA! I won, I won.
Hope it's better than the internal piano sounds. They're pretty unremarkable.
And the QS is in the shop again, os won't get to try it out for a while. I've decided that My QS-8.1 is probably a lemon, so I'm looking for a QS-R (rackmount version) as a backup.
Monday, April 05, 2004
Where?
New day gig with no web access. And home is dialup - no cable or DSL out here in BFE. And I signed up for fantasy baseball (we're the Monaural Mobsters, heh heh), so that's sucking up what little net time I do have.
So don't worry - although my health's no better, it's not really much worse either. Just got no hookup. :(
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
RPMedia
I'm still holding forth at spots #2 and 4 at The Recording Project Media Services, despite two months on the chart and virtually no spamming on my part:
Top Downloads
M.Brane War Inside Play (192kbps) Download (5.94MB) 139
Dafduc Song 130 Play (128kbps) Download (3.35MB) 102
PapillonIrl My First Wife Left Me Play (96kbps) Download (3.59MB) 82
Dafduc Beautiful Still Play (192kbps) Download (6.62MB) 74
dispelled_myths Put that away Play (128kbps) Download (3.98MB) 71
Stop by, give my stuff a listen. Let's see if we can run those numbers up!!! ;)
Yahoo! News
The Harvard-UNC study is not the first to take aim at the assertion that online music piracy is the leading factor hurting music sales. In two studies conducted in 1999 and 2002, Jupiter Research analyst Aram Sinnreich found that persons who downloaded music illegally from the Internet were also active purchasers of music from legitimate sources.
"While some people seemed to buy less after file sharing, more people seemed to buy more," Sinnreich said. "It was more likely to increase somebody's purchasing habits."
The 2002 Jupiter study showed that people who traded files for more than six months were 75 percent more likely than average online music fans to spend more money on music.
RIAA spokesmonkeys, of course, disagree. But for a number of us, these studies just confirm what we already know - CD sales are down because the new releases suck ass.
BOYCOTT RIAA!!!
Friday, March 26, 2004
Only because of the 1000-character limit at HaloScan...
-----------------------------------------------
This is timely! The guys over at my home studio board have spent all week arguing at length about whether Obi-Wan Kenobi or Gandalf had better powers. It goes something like this:
guy 1: My imaginary geezer can beat up your imaginary geezer.
guy 2: No, my imaginary geezer can beat up YOUR imaginary geezer.
guy 1: No way. That light saber is way cooler than those crappy spells. And what's up with that staff? Puh-leaze.
guy 2: Ha. My guy beat a damn Balrog. Your guy would be pissing himself if he ever had to do that. Except, um, oh yeah. YOUR GUY IS DEAD ALREADY. What kinda lame-ass superpower DIES? Especially in a fight with fat old James Earl Jones? Loser.
It continues like that:
battlegeezer thread
Then somebody wrote a song about it:
song for the imaginary geezers
And we had some spin-off threads - Gollum vs. Jar Jar, Ginger vs. Maryann. I borrowed your Elijah Wood link at one point. Thanks.
And yeah, most of us are getting paid for this. Hee hee. ;)
Jay
-----------------------------------------------
In other news, I've also "borrowed" Racheloni's Brains / Joy of Cooking entry. Racheloni Rocks!
And I usually don't.
As you were...
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Rock And Roll Confidential - The Hall of Douchebags
April Fools 1986
Ringotrongics Thumper 2000: Tired of drum machines with no personality? You'll change your tune after a session with Thumper 2000, the digital drum machine that not only sounds like a real drummer but acts like one too. The research dept at Ringotronics has gone beyond mere "human feel" to capture the drummer's disposition on a chip, thanks to a breakthrough in artificial intelligence (the only kind of intelligence real drummers possess). Thumper 2000 won't function at all until twenty minutes after the rest of the band has started rehearsal, and once it has started it stops constantly during the following 10 minutes to adjust pedals and stands and retune its snare. It also speeds up in proportion to the number of women in the audience and always uses more cymbals than the song calls for. A built-in voice module allows Thumper 2000 to express its desire to sing, without actually giving it the capability to actually do so.
Monday, March 22, 2004
MEng project: lil2
Why didn't **I** think of that?
Next time I get songwriter's block, I'm buying some hamsters.
Levon Helms sez:
Our favorite act was 'The Lady with the Million Dollar Smile,' F. S. Walcott's big featured singer, who'd come on in the third quarter of the show. She was an armful. She wore bright dresses and had all her teeth filled with diamonds! She sang on all those real get-down songs like 'Shake a Hand'."
From Levon Helm's "This Wheel's On Fire"
Sunday, March 21, 2004
Friday, March 19, 2004
Magic Bag
March 20
THE DIRTBOMBS & DETROIT COBRAS
wsg The Come-Ons
Doors 8 p.m.
$10.00 adv.
Come on down!!! Not sure I'll be there, though - sis-in-law is moving in for a little while (it BETTER be a little while), that's moving day. Blue Sunrays guitarist Brian (uh, uh, ... crap! Forgot his last name) is in the Come-ons, some RP friends are supposed to be there. I'll be there if I can.
Thursday, March 18, 2004
UnQualified User - index page - Free MP3 downloads, CDs, Bio Info, Tour Dates, Lyrics and More!"
Check out my pal Paul's music - Paul encouraged me a lot very early in my home recording career, and gave me great amounts of vital information back when I couldn't buy a clue. He even listened to some of my really early stuff, which I now realize took great courage, and even greater restraint. We had a very chummy private Yahoo club, about 6 of us, back in the day (clubs are now merged with groups), that suddenly imploded and left us all wondering what the hell just happened. Still a warm place in my heart for those guys though, Paul especially.
Give him a listen, tell him Daf sent you. He'll remember.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
97.5 FM Today's Hit Music
Well, you should really listen to all four of them, then vote for the best. Which would be Jaime. Great voice, especially for a teenager! Daughter of an (extremely talented) friend. Didn't fall far from the tree, it seems...
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Yahoo! Groups : 1alesis_qs_series
Apparently you gotta join if you wanna browse - sorry. Alesis QS's are a great value - good sound and feel, for about 1/3 the price of a Triton or Motif. Love my QS-8.1!!!
Group's still active. I've belonged for years, but don't really participate. Still, good to know they're still going strong.
Monday, March 15, 2004
Piltdown Man
Bwahahahahaha!!!!
"How does a daytime-drama-type become a rock lead singer?
Good god, it's like some evil force has resurrected Winger...
Piltdown Man is a twisted genius - give him a listen. This ain't just funny, it sounds great!!!!
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Welcome to Music Maker Publications
Over my head financially for now, and perhaps sonically as well, but still potential value. Way cheaper than one of those hands-on recording schools, too, though I'm sure they have their advantages.
More Flash
Linked from a timely little piece of semi-spam. Price is a bit higher than I'm willing to fork over in these economic times - pay cuts and uncertain future at work - but man, if this was two years ago, I'd be all over it.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Found a blog...
Ah, serendipity...
If'n he keeps posting wavs instead of mp3s, good bet I won't be able to listen. Dial-up only here in the beanfields, can't even get DSL. Satellite, I s'pose, but I don't see bang for the buck.
Monday, March 08, 2004
Friday, March 05, 2004
Taking the plunge again
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Ear Infection - Treatment and Information
...go see what the health-food bunch says.
Hear's what the ear surgeon said:
My best bet up front would have been a high level of steroids. But (1) I waited 10 days, (2) the steroid pack they prescribed in ER wasn't strong enough, and (c) I discontinued the steroids after they were completed. My internist actually suggested that the steroids were just a sign they were throwing the "kitchen sink" at my ear troubles.
NOW, he (ear surgeon) has me on 60 mg of prednisone for the next 7 days, but it may well be too late. There's also a VERY good chance that this wouldn't have worked up front either, but since I was treated with steroids and did recover my high frequencies (only), there's some evidence that I'm in the part of the population for which the steroids are effective. Sadly, the longer the waiting in applying the treatment, the more they lose their efficacy. So the steroids NOW are kind of a Hail Mary thing.
Stay tuned...
Monday, March 01, 2004
OddTodd Interviews Sauron
This is great! What a riot:
Sauron: ...But who would have ever thought someone would actually want to destroy the ring!? I didn't see that coming. That ring is so cool!
Me (Todd): Totally! I probably but have been sporting it around town first day all blinging!
Sauron: Uh huh.
It goes on like that. Funny stuff.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Improv Message Boards - True Porn Clerk Stories
This remains one of the best things I have ever read on the net. I started reading before the saga ended, but it's over now. This would make a great stage play or movie, ISTM.
I think the attraction is more than just "ooh it's about porn". There's a lot of life in this, and some great funny/sad moments. Ali's observations are never wordy, but rarely terse either - a cozy read. Probably not for the prudish or highly judgmental, or kids under 16. But I do think I speak for most of the rest of us: Yay Ali!!!
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Introducing: The Recording Project Media Services
TOP 5 RPMEDIA TUNES
1. M.Brane - War Inside
2. Dafduc - Song 130
3. dispelled_myths - Put that away
4. dispelled_myths - Take Time
5. PapillonIrl - My First Wife Left Me
Short-lived, I'm sure. Song 42's holding forth at number 9, but likely to drop quickly as more songs are added.
Here's the RPMedia radio link - better have broadband!!!
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Not Quite So Incommunicado
Still have the vertigo, still have the hearing loss. Vertigo seems to be dissipating though. Hearing loss is a little stickier. Prayers and/or good vibes (depending on your cosmology) cheerfully accepted!
Here's a link to My New Recording Project Page. Visit me and play my stuff! No money in it or anything, but nothing looks worse than a "Plays: 0" entry. There's a streaming radio link at the main site, too - 64kbps, so we dial-up users are out of luck.
Currently on the site:
Song 130 - a rock-n-roll setting of the Lenten Psalm;
Beautiful Still - My anniversary song for Kim; and
Song 42 - a delta/bayou setting of one of my favorite Easter Vigil and Funeral Psalms.
Check out the other guys there, too - some excellent songwriters and musicians there.
Friday, January 23, 2004
Incommunicado
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Putting the Gray in Graytail
Then, I went to my annual eye exam - and all of a sudden I need $%^&^^& bifocals. Grr.
Then I saw my doctor, and he prescribed a sleep study. So I went last night...
...and I have severe sleep apnea. The dangerous kind - oxygen levels getting scary low. So now, I get to spend the rest of my $%^&^^& life tied to a $%^& CPAP machine every night:
There's an off chance that if I lose enough weight (Atkins is going pretty well), the problem will go away - but that's rare.
Meanwhile, I'm gonna see if Kim wants to play "Darth Vader Meets the Space Wench..."
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
ATF Head Recruited by RIAA
First we need to terrorize the file-sharing industry into submission, eliminating criminal opportunities. Then we need to terrorize those still tempted to copy music illegally by showing that we can nail them on mere suspicion. By applying the ATF model to our efforts at RIAA, we'll have both prongs covered.
Note - this is humor. Pointed humor, but humor nonetheless...
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
eBay item 2448756945
You GOTTA read these comments. Read the whole page - skip nothing. It's a valid auction, but the seller's commentary is a hoot!
Auction ends 12-21.
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Harmony Central®: Notre Dame de Budapest Pipe Organ Captured for GigaStudio
Sounds yummy. $450 Euro. Wonder if my old GigaSampler LE will handle it...
Friday, November 21, 2003
The Egg, Myself, and I
Until now, no one had measured the absolute acoustic profile of the human body—that is, how the body scatters sound waves independently of where it happens to be.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Wired News: Record Label Sings New Tune
Interesting idea - maybe more suited to remix-oriented genres, but it's good to see some creative thought about copyrights out there.
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
New template
So links, sidebar pics, etc. are gone for now. I'll resurrect them as soon as I can...
Friday, November 14, 2003
Larry Norman benefit 11/15 in Cincinnati
Sittin in with my pals the Motor City Saints this weekend, while they look for a permanent 4th member. Long drive, but a worthy cause!
Monday, November 10, 2003
The Recording Project
- post mp3s directly to a thread
special collab threads allow you to post wavs
two hangouts - one PG-rated, one R-rated --- helps solve the 13-year-olds-in-the-cave issues
non-absentee owners and moderators WHO ACTUALLY IMPLEMENT USER SUGGESTIONS (what a concept!) - they promise they'll keep the trolls in line, too!
No performance issues / too-much-traffic lockouts
See ya there!
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
Monday, October 20, 2003
Premier Amplifiers
Went to a party / jam session with the Alligators a few weeks back. I had met a few of the guys at another jam, but it was my HR pal Dougie who finagled me the invite.
Great food and beer, and a real nice buch of people. Jamming was lots of fun, shared keyboard duties with another HR buddy, Sean.
The harp player is way into vintage gear - we've discussed it before - and I noticed he had a Premier amp he played slide guitar through - sounded like a harp amp, there was so much distortion. Very cool. So I went on a search today, THIS:
is what I found. Premier was a cheap Fender knockoff from the 60's, lower power and way more tube distortion. But that's its beauty. There's a big section of the linked site devoted to Premier. Best thing is, these things are cheap! Just gotta find a good one...
Friday, October 10, 2003
TbT audio
Lotsa VST goodies here:
TbT audio software projects Home
Tube Limiter especially sounds pretty cool. And all of it's freeware!!!
All together now:
Monday, October 06, 2003
How I Spent My Weekend, and a tribute to Warren Z
It differed from the much larger Connecticut jamfest, not only in approach and size, but also content - very few 12-bar blues, or 60s/70s warhorses got pulled out here - much more GreenDay / 3EB / 90s rock content. A couple of key players, Simon and Myke, were my son's age. Creative guys with a great future, I think.
Musical highlights:
Home For A Rest, aka the Newfie jam, a hard-rocking Celtic flavored Canadian Classic - new to most of us there. We just followed Myke;
Stooges' I Wanna Be Your Dog, featuring my brother Rats on vocs and keys, and my recording debut on the guitar and airsynth;
Billy J's Still Rock & Roll, starring Myke, but I get a piano solo - big fun, much cooler than the fake sax thing I used to do in it;
Britney Spears' (!!!???) Hit Me Baby, completely reworked as a grungy punky moshpit jam - big fun!!!;
our Warren Zevon tribute (RIP, man...), Werewolves, with me singing and butchering the first line (bad notes, wrong words), but it got better as we went along;
a Sex Pistols cover, featuring rats again (title escapes me); and
rats' We Are All Clones, recorded by ratso, Voxxy, and me after everyone else had left - a great "end of the fest" tune.
Major props to the other jammers: Simon, Myke, PartyPants, Voxxy, Chris, ratso, and Voxxy's bass man (name has now escaped my so-called mind). What an absolute blast. We also had DJ Li'l A (Alyssa, 2) sit in on the DJBox, and minivox (Johnny, 3) was bangin' the drums. Voxxy actually played mini-v's tiny set on Clones!!! Great trashcan sound.
Other firsts:
poutine,
absinthe,
a brown beer whose name I've forgotten, but there's a 6-pack waiting at home to remind me, and
an unfortunate visual of a very drunk, very naked Voxxy, stumbling around his house after skinny dipping and drinking WAY too much - not necessarily in that order. Big thanks to my wife, who insisted we stay at a hotel!!! I need that sixpack of temporarily unnamed beer, just to help me forget the horrors my eyes have seen...
Heh heh.
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
Monday, September 29, 2003
Child Pimp Suits
But THIS is pretty funny. Apparently trick-or-treating has changed a lot since I was a kid...
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Sing Ho!
Oh yeah - big parental advisory on this one...
Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.
Sweet Mandy had hair of a fine flaxen hue,
And she'd laugh as I kissed her pink orbs in a kneel,
But then one day she spurned me, "I couldn't love you,
For I must find a man whose tall lance makes me squeal!"
Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.
Crazy-eyed Nanette, more stalker than belle,
She learned at my knee of the world, of the flesh,
Years later, I met her, amidst a dry spell,
She teased, then she cackled — a bitter, sour wench!
Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.
Me and Fannie was drunk, sure and I was still green,
We rolled on the grass, she was done, I withdrew,
Then in daylight I saw her, a sobering scene,
Mourned my stained knees, lost innocence, broken fly too!
Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks (??) and her money and pimp will be gone.
Lucienza was hungry, a fiery Italian,
In my wagon we trysted, her panties enpursed,
Next day, told her girlfriends that I was no stallion
more schnauzer than steed, and more gherkin than wurst!
Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.
Round Sharon was randy, an eager dark lass,
with an eye for rough pleasure, and forbidden whim,
She, the night that we parted, pledged love to the last,
But next evening was making the beast, astride Tim.
Sing ho!, for the hoor and take comfort, poor john,
Soon her looks and her money and pimp will be gone.
Maybe more verses coming, but I'm about out of exes.
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
Mixolydian Mode
This guy's too cool to just mention in a post, so watch for him to be added to the sidebar. I know it's a St. Blog's page (so why aren't you linking from your St. Cecilia page, Jay???), but it strikes my musical fancy far more than it resonates with the churchy part of my persona.
Anyhow, modern technology meets the ancient troubador, or something. Very cool site. Visit it! Now!
Are you still here???
Monday, September 15, 2003
Lauren has arrived
Just got a call - I'm a grandpa again!!! My son and his wife were expecting a baby girl at the end of October, but she's here already!!! Lauren is 7lbs., 4 oz., so best guess is the docs were 6-7 weeks off in their calculations. Mom and daughter are resting comfortably.
I'll try to get pics...
Thursday, September 11, 2003
9/11
Over at my other blog, I posted a link to my CCM take on 9/11. For an entirely different view here are links (hi-fi/broadband --- lo-fi/dialup) to a collaboration of sorts that I did with Barry Morgan earlier this year. His lyrics, my melody and performance. It's a very rough sketch, featuring out-of-tune vocals, a what-the-heck-was-he-thinking drum track, and some over-the-top synth shredding. Listen at your own risk.
But I really was taken with Barry's lyric, and *I* like my melodic/harmonic environment (a tribute to Donald Fagen - I am SO not worthy...). Some context - (1) along with global and US politics, there's quite a bit of Latvian politics worked into this; and (2) the numbers all mean something. Very witty, deep writing from Barry. Worthy of a better performance, but I'm still working on it.
Lyrics copyright Barry Morgan, 2002. All rights reserved. Used with permission.
Music and performance copyright Jay Ricketts, 2003. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Back
Wow! Talk about withdrawal - Blogger hosed up my account for nearly a week, finally fixed it last night. Got my ID crossed with someone else. Mebbe I better come up with a better ID ( they used to be changeable - wonder if they still are).
Oh well, I forget what I was gonna say anyhow. Except here's a public service message from the RIAA:
Thursday, September 04, 2003
My Busted Fridge
I entered the BLUE Microphone / Dr. Demento Summer Silly Song contest, just before the deadline.
Read about the contest here;
Read my lyrics (and a few other guys' lyrics) here; and
Listen to my song here (hifi/broadband) or here (lofi/dialup).
I'm actually hoping for second or third place, since I already have a BLUE Baby Bottle mic, the first prize offering. But I'll setlle. Ha ha.
Oh, and if you're really bored, you can read about what my homerec pals had to say about the recording here.
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
Limerick
'twas all beer, camaraderie, and rough etiquette
But that reccer jgourd had
broadcast and recorded
the proof that the jams were patheticut.
They've been putting the recordings of the jams out there. Wow. Freebird was especially painful...
Don't even ask. I'm NOT posting links.
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Official HomeRecording.Comp Project!
It's finally shipping, the comp CD from my Home Recording board. I'm not on this, but a bunch of my pals are.
Please buy it? Please?
I'll post a review after mine shows up. I've got volume 1 - it's pretty darn good. I've heard snatches of this (VERY early Sunday morning at Jamfest, and I didn't know what I was listening to then), it was excellent - a lot of pro-sounding stuff.
Stay tuned. Both of you...
Friday, August 22, 2003
The haircut
Won't help my modeling career (ha!) but looks better than that jamfest photo below...
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Tech News - CNET.com
"When a machine gets too big, it doesn't know when it's stepping on ants. But every once in a while, you step on a red ant." - Ernie Ball Inc. CEO, Sterling Ball
If they made keyboard stuff, I'd buy it. If I **EVER** buy strings for my Epi 335 (I am SO not a guitarist) again, I'm buying Ernie Balls.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Try Before You Buy!!!
I submitted this review to Musician's Friend - wonder if they'll use it:
I bought one of these based solely on the feature list - big mistake!!!
Though it plays well enough, the wheel and knob response times are so painfully slow that they are unuseable. At least 1/4 second delay on every pitch bend, every mod wheel move, every knob turn. Key touch is lame, but about like every other cheap controller - no worse than the Oxygen, for example. But the knobs are worthless...
Overall Rating: 2 out of 10 stars
Monday, August 18, 2003
How we dealt with the power thing
For once, we actually handled it! Yay for our new generator, which we paid way too much for back in the ice storm (February? March?). We cut back to lights, fridge, freezer, alarm clock, TV, a couple of fans, and the microwave - attempting to use the dryer browned us out - but it made for a bearable couple of days, and, for once, it didn't all end in throwing out a few hundred dollars worth of meat. The rest of the fam stayed at sis-in-law's in Davison MI - they kept their power the whole time. We figured Grandma wouldn't handle the heat well.
Other power failure related observations:
Never heard much about Lansing, where I work, from the Detroit and Port Huron radio stations I was listening to. Got sent home Thursday after the failure, and mistakenly assumed we wouldn't be working Friday, after I attempted to call the office and the phones were down, and then attempted to call an old team leader's cell, and got routed straight to his voicemail. Finally got a call about 11:30 asking if I was coming in, since we had a hot release we were working on. I made my apologies, and was in by 2:30. Turned out they'd had power all day, but the HP/Oracle system we were testing wasn't brought up until shortly before I got there - so hopefully no career damage.
Our closest gas station had gas, but an incredibly long line. The next town over, Imlay City, had full power, though, so I headed there. Real long lines at the first station, but the next one, run by a church friend of mine, was much better - got in and out in less than 1/2 hour. Was also able to buy ice, though if I'd have been 5 minutes later, it would have all been gone. I was real pleased to see no gouging going on - gas was $1.589, ice was $1.24 for a 7 lb. bag.
Had a family get-together Saturday night, decided to go out to dinner after - THAT was an adventure. Most restaurants were closed due to water quality issues - Finally went to Loon River in Sterling Heights, a wild game place. Our drinks were in styrofoam cups, we had paper plates, couldn't get veggies or pasta, no fountain pop. It was still fun, though. We felt sorry for the waitress, as portions of our family can be, um, difficult. So a bunch of us threw in extra $$ for a tip after our host paid and left. Hope it made up for the challenge we presented.
Oh yeah, and the haircut went as scheduled...
Friday, August 15, 2003
In a late breaking story, Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge reported that investigators are uncovering a chain of events that may have caused yesterday's power outage. Little is known about the "Homewrecker" cult believed to be responsible, but a Connecticut gathering last weekend apparently caused a power drain that set off an eventual failure of the Northeast Power Grid in Niagara Falls, NY.
An unnamed spokesman for the agency claims that this scenario was actually discovered as a possible cause of failure several years ago, but can only happen when four guitarists on the same circuit all take solos at the same time, each with their gain set to an unreasonaby high level. The likelihood of any such event was dismissed as "laughable" by FEMA researchers at the time. When pressed for details, Ridge declined further comment "until we know more."
In a separate, but possibly related, series of events, investigators are trying to trace the movements of four of the cult members, whose paths traced the exact route of the failures. They were known to have left the cult gathering and ostensibly traveled through the soon-to-be-blacked-out states and provinces of Connecticut, New York, Ontario, and Michigan. Their names are not known, but they are believed to have traveled in two vehicles, and to use the aliases "The Rat", "The Duck", "The (crappy) Beetle", and "The Sheep-Boy". It is unclear at this time if their animal names are somehow related to the mysterious practices of the Connecticut cult.
The spokesman further stated that the cult member known as "The Rat" was at one time believed to have wielded a weapon nicknamed "The Zucchini". Although these travelers are only wanted for questioning at this time, they should be approached with caution, as they may still be armed. The spokesman also mentioned that Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, after conferring with Ridge and his staff, was quoted as saying, "Let's make sure these boys get a fitting welcome at Guantanamo."
Copyright Faux News, 2003. All Rights Reserved.